Planned Love

Xia Yiwa had already blended into the atmosphere of the bonfire party, but when I looked at the party going on elsewhere, I felt exceptionally lonely.    

    

At this time, he didn't know how Zaizai was and whether he had fallen asleep yet. And … What about that man?    

    

With his usual attitude, he should still be busy working overtime right now.    

    

Suddenly, I pictured him in a dark suit, sitting up straight in the conference room, his mature face, his deep brows, the calmness of his movements, as if he were a painting, etched deep in my mind.    

    

Tai Ziqian and I left the bonfire party one after the other. We walked towards a small hill beside the bonfire party.    

    

This mountain was not tall. From bottom to top, it flickered with colorful lights. On top of the mountain, there was an observatory. From that telescope, one could see everything in the sky.    

    

Because almost everyone was gathered at the bonfire party, there was almost no one coming up the mountain at this time.    

    

I called Nanny Liu first. Nanny Liu told me that Zaizai was very obedient and that I wanted to video chat with Zaizai. Nanny Liu's tone flickered and then told me that Zaizai was already asleep, afraid that the video would wake him up.    

    

I gave up, gave a few instructions, and hung up.    

    

Afterwards, Tai Ziqian and I quietly walked up the mountain. Both of us were silent.    

    

Tai Ziqian suddenly broke the silence and asked me: "In your heart, you still won't forget, right?"    

    

I paused, then turned to look at him, pretending not to know. "What do you mean?"    

    

"Of course you know what I mean," Tai Ziqian said as he looked at me. He then sighed and said, "Shubei, tell me, tell me how you feel."    

    

"At this moment?" I couldn't help but sigh and look at the steps to the top of the mountain. I sighed and said, "The feeling in my heart is as confused as if I was climbing this mountain. I don't dare to be slow, nor do I dare to be tired. However, I don't even know how long I'll take to reach the end, and I don't know when I'll suddenly slip and fall. My heart is filled with too many unknowns, but I can't give up even if I want to. "    

    

"You won't slip, I'll accompany you up the mountain. If you fall, I'll hold you. If I can't stop you, I'll fall down first. " Tai Ziqian said with a smile.    

    

His eyes shone with sincerity. Under the colorful lights on both sides of the road, his figure was exceptionally tall and his face was all the more handsome.    

    

"Ziqian, do you think that the perfection of the secular world will always run counter to the cause ahead?" I looked at Tai Ziqian and said gravely, "It's too hard for a woman to live in this society. It's impossible to have a career, to have a family; but to have a career is to give up a career. A woman like me, who has always been a contender, may be destined not to have love. "    

    

"Who said that? There were many successful women and happy families. So what if it was a proper compromise or sacrifice? You can have both the fish and the bear's paw, as long as you're not too greedy. " Tai Ziqian said as he walked up the stairs.    

    

"The difficulty lies in greed!" I lamented, "If I immerse myself in feeling, I will give my all, constantly compromise, constantly lower the bottom line. But if so, what about my quest? Wouldn't that be too far away? But if I pursue my career, I must have no time for affection, and besides, I have a child. There are too many things that we are destined to be unable to take into account.    

    

"Shubei, if I'm not wrong, what you're thinking right now isn't only about revenge, right?" Tai Ziqian said.    

    

I was startled for a moment before smiling helplessly. "Do you know how it feels to drive past the Xu Mansion every time I drive?"    

    

"Hate?" Tai Ziqian asked me.    

    

I shook my head and said, "At first it was hatred, but later … Not exactly. I admit that Xu Changsheng has some talent in business, but he is still far from my father's level. Back then, my father led the Xu family, and their status in the Hangcheng was not inferior to the Sheng family today. However, even after so many years had passed, the Xu family still remained in their original spot. They did not advance, and even retreated. If my father was still here, the Xu family would have definitely become a business empire, and they wouldn't have been caught up by the Sheng family. Right now, we can only rely on the Sheng family for our survival. "    

    

"Therefore, you always feel that you have a responsibility on your shoulders. Not only do you want to take back the Xu Family, you also want to see how far the Xu Family can go under your leadership. Am I right?" Tai Ziqian said.    

    

I nodded. I looked at the top of the hill and pointed to the white pavilion at the top of the hill. "Look, there's the top," I said, "but if you don't work hard and you don't concentrate on going up, you can't climb to the top if you walk around and look around. And when you get to the top, there are even higher and more distant peaks, so not only do you have to climb up, but you also have to prevent yourself from falling down. Say, when your eyes are on that mountain peak, will you stop here, when the lights on the roadside shine again? "    

    

"So, in your eyes, love is like these coloured lights, and the white pavilion at the peak of the mountain is your true destination?" Tai Ziqian asked me back, then said, "If that's the case, then why are you sad?"    

    

I had a sudden feeling of extreme oppression. A voice jumped from my heart to my mouth, and I couldn't help but say, "Because I really love him."    

    

Tai Ziqian was suddenly stunned, he looked at me deeply and sorrowfully: "I hope, you are saying this to me."    

    

I looked at the dazzling lights and said sadly, "Love is something that, even if you hide it deep in your heart, still comes out of your mouth. I can't avoid it, much less escape it. Just like this colored light, although it can't become your target, but it will always light up along your path. "Since ancient times, those who could escape from love have probably become saints, right?"    

    

"How can he make you so infatuated with him?" Tai Ziqian was obviously distracted. He didn't listen to what I had to say.    

    

But it doesn't matter, and I don't expect him to understand. I just think it's good enough to have a place to say it.    

    

"His everything, his every expression, every action, every look, have made me infatuated and unforgettable," I said as I walked, "Ziqian, I don't know when I started, but he had already taken such a deep place in my heart. The more I pushed him away, the more I missed him. The more I feigned indifference, the more painful it became in my heart. Since ancient times, how many women do not desire the nourishment of love? It's not that I don't want to. It's that I don't want to be tied down by love. I don't think either of us can compromise for the other, let alone be pure. He has his dreams and I have mine. "    

    

"There are people willing to compromise for you, but … But you can't see it. " Tai Ziqian suddenly said meaningfully, and then said, "When have I not experienced the feeling of love before? That feeling of having seen her for ten thousand years, that feeling of wanting to protect her for the first time in my life, that feeling of willing to give up your own ambitions to accompany her for her sake, I experienced it all too thoroughly. Shubei, you don't really love him, or rather, at this stage, you love your ambitions. If you really love a person, you will compromise for him, and everything will compromise. "    

    

I didn't have the heart to understand the meaning behind Tai Ziqian's words, so I hurriedly tried to defend myself. I said, "I had a compromise, and I also decided to stay by his side, to get through this crisis with him, to stand at the peak with him. But then I realized that I was just accompanying him, accompanying him meant that I was only his subordinate. I'm afraid, I'm really afraid, afraid that everything about me will be controlled, afraid that I will gradually lose myself, afraid that I will gradually lose myself in love and forget the direction I came from. "    

    

"Love, it means sacrifice. Have you heard a line from the Bible? Love is patience and kindness. " Tai Ziqian casually said, "If I love a person, I'm willing to turn into a candle and burn myself to light up the way she wants to go. I want to see her happy. I want to see the most beautiful smile on her face. Because she's happy, and I'm happy. "    

    

"Ziqian, you'll always be greater than me." I patted his shoulder and said with a smile.    

    

While we were talking, we had already reached the top of the mountain. We had already reached the white pavilion. I leaned close to the telescope and saw the vast universe with a single glance.    

    

The book said that a person with a small heart could only see in front of his eyes, while a person with a big heart could only see in the future.    

    

When I looked through the telescope at the vast universe, the vast galaxy, I suddenly felt my own small, suddenly found that the world is so big, so boundless, no matter how you go, you can't go to the end, countless human roads, endless mountains and tens of thousands of water, but I would rather choose the journey, would rather walk barefoot through thousands of mountains and thousands of water, with my sweat and tears to make my life wider and more far-reaching.    

    

Staying in the arms of a man, of course, can have a stable happiness. However, if what I longed for was the mountains and seas, even if his embrace was as deep as the sea and as vast as the mountains and rivers, I would still not be satisfied.    

    

"I still have to walk my own path, see more people, and explore a larger world. I know that the challenge is difficult, but I still refuse to admit defeat and want to give it a try." Ziqian, that's all I think. I think of him. I love him, but this love cannot stop me from pursuing a better world. " I came down from the observatory and lay on the green grass beside me. I looked up at the vast sky and said to Tai Ziqian in a loud voice.    

    

However, Tai Ziqian moved something all of a sudden, and he suddenly hugged me tightly. I struggled desperately, but when I looked up, tears were streaming down his face …