Ghost In Red

—    

"Wha-what did you say?" I asked OJ to make sure I heard her correctly, and she went closer to the bed, where I sat, and looked behind me.    

"Syd, you… oh, no." She muttered, looking astounded and puzzled, and I slowly turned my head behind me to look where she was looking.    

And I squinted my eyes and looked in disbelief at the person lying behind me. It's not just any person. It's me. And I don't look good.    

"Oh, my! What the…? Who is…" I stammered and hastily tried to hold my face and arms, and I began breathing fast as I felt panicked.    

I looked at OJ, and she wore the same face as me.    

"How did… I… oh, girl, no! Is this real? Am I just dreaming? Isn't it? This isn't real, right?" I asked my bewildered girlfriend, and she let out a sigh and shook-nodded her head.    

"What does it mean, Oj? Am I in… wait a damn second." I asked her as I tried to get out of the bed and stood beside her, and there, I saw my whole body lying unconscious.    

This must be just a dream. Yep, it should be. What the heck happened before I got here, by the way?    

I tried to remember, and I gasped when I recalled the happenings that caused me to be here, looking like a total piece of crap.    

"Oh, sh*t!" I cursed under my breath, and I looked to my left and saw OJ looking so sad and happy combined.    

"Hey, it's going to be okay, Syd. You are going to be okay." OJ assured me with a warm smile, and I just didn't know what to say or how to react to all this.    

I deeply sighed and felt something warm and familiar on my right hand.    

Then I wondered why I felt it that she entwined our hands and brought it to her lips, and she kissed the back of mine. I gulped and looked at her in marvel, and she stared at me the same way.    

"I am… wow! I can… feel you." I let out and softly chuckled when I held her left cheek, and I could really feel her soft, smooth skin as I gently pinched it.    

"I can hold you. I can touch you. Wow, this is incredible, Oj. Can you feel me, too?" I affirmed and asked her, and she nodded her head in reply.    

"Yes. I can feel you, too, Syd." She answered and smiled at me, and I truly am so happy right now. This is amazing!    

Before I could say anything, I held my breath in surprise when she crushed me into a big warm hug.    

"I have been wanting to hug you for a long time," I whispered and hugged her back, and it honestly feels so good, better than I imagined.    

"Me, too, Syd. Me, too. And I am so glad you are okay. I thought I'd lost you back there. Damn you! You scared the heck out of me. And I am so sorry." She sobbed and buried her face on my neck, and I hugged her a bit tighter and began caressing her back.    

"Hey, it's okay. It's okay. I'm here now. I'm… a ghost… like you. Well… it's better than staying asleep all the time and not knowing what it feels like, right?" I replied and felt her shoulders shaking as she giggled.    

"Yeah, right. It's quite amazing and scary at the same time." She answered and broke off from the hug, and I felt a bit disappointed about it.    

I want to hold her like that forever. It's a sensation I can never get tired of, and I will do everything to feel it always. And thinking about doing something, a sudden thought popped in my head like thunder, making me snap my head to my sleeping unconscious physical body on the bed.    

"Oh, hell, no!" I cursed and tried to think of my not-really okay situation right now.    

"What's wrong, Syd?" OJ asked me, and I turned to look at her.    

"A lot. A lot is wrong and not good, OJ. Oh, my goodness! How are we going to find your mom? Oh, no, no, no! How can I talk to her about you? This? This is insane. No, it can't be! I can't… oh, OJ, what are we going to do now? I need to wake up." I panicked and hurried to my body, and I tried to touch myself, but I couldn't feel anything.    

I looked at the clock on the wall and saw it was about three now. Is it morning? Or…    

Then I turned my head to the window and saw it was daylight. No, it's three in the afternoon.    

"Hey, it's alright, Syd. Don't worry about it." OJ told me, and I looked back at her.    

"No. It's not alright. What day is today? How long was I out? How many days do we have left?" I anxiously asked her and waited for her to answer.    

When she opened her mouth to speak, I had high hopes that everything was not too late.    

"It's… it doesn't matter, Syd. It's okay." She said, and I let out a scoff.    

"What? Why wouldn't it matter? It's not okay. Tell me! What day is it? Do we still have time?" I huffed and held her shoulders while looking her in the eyes, but she avoided my gaze. What's wrong with her?    

"It's okay, Sydney. You don't have to do it anymore." She answered, and it's not the thing I want to hear.    

"What? No, it's not… please, OJ. Maybe we can do something about this. I know we can find a way. Tell me, how long was I asleep? Please. Look at me. Tell me." I begged and brought my left hand to her cheek to make her look my way, and she let out a deep sigh.    

"About forty-three hours. And it's alright, Syd. You don't have to worry about anything. Your friends and family will be here soon, and the… and the hospital bills are going to be paid by the car owners who hit you. Look, Vidia just went out to get down to the lobby, and…." OJ answered, but I slowly felt dazed and could barely hear what she was talking about as I tried to think of the time that had passed and was wasted.    

It can't be. But…    

"We have time. I guess that's enough. We still have time to find your mother. We just need someone that could see us. Where's my phone, by the way? Did anyone call? Vidia? Yes, Vidia's here, right? She can help us. We can ask for help. Come on. Let's find that guy… oh, it's Wilson, the taxi driver who could see ghosts, so he could be the one to tell people what we want to say. Let's go." I rambled and had finally thought of a great idea, and I held OJ's right hand and was about to walk out of the room, but she didn't move.    

I stopped and looked back at her, and she just stood there while intently staring at the floor.    

"Come on. We still have time, Oj. What's the matter?" I uttered and walked back closer to her, and she lifted her gaze, and her sad eyes met mine.    

"Are you coming with me, OJ?" I asked and only received a small smile from her.    

"It's okay. I call off this mission. We don't have to worry about anything." She answered, and I opened my mouth to protest, but she placed her right index finger on it, shushing me.    

"Shh. It's alright, Syd. It's alright."    

"Please, I believe we can still do it. We still have… a day... more than a day. I don't want to lose you, OJ. I can't lose you. Please? We can do this together." I cried and held both her hands in mine and gently squeezed them.    

"I don't want to lose you, either, Syd. I even have caused you this... You almost lost your life because of me. You have done so much for me already. And I couldn't thank you enough for everything." She replied and smiled at me, and I bit my lower lip to hold my emotions.    

I just don't understand. Why does she always have to think the opposite? Why can't she have faith in her life, even for once, that she could still live?    

"No. Please, no. Don't say that. Why?" I said with a cracking voice and shook my head, and I could feel myself about to cry, thinking we would fail.    

I closed my eyes and felt her embrace, and she rubbed my back.    

"I believe there are things that shouldn't mean to happen, Syd. Maybe all we have to do is accept. I'm grateful for my journey of this lifetime, and you are the best thing that happened to me… ever. And I thank you for that. We just need to accept it, Syd. I know it will hurt like f*ck at first, but it will only pass. It's going to be okay." She explained, and I shook my head as I didn't want to accept it. I can't, and I don't know how to.    

I broke off from the hug to look at her in the face, and I grimly said, "So, you think it's that easy, huh? To what? Accept your death? And not be sad about it? I know that you absolutely know that I lost both my parents at the same time and at the same place where you crashed, and I survived that misery. But do you know why I get through it all without totally shattering like a million pieces of glass?"    

She shook her head, her sad eyes still staring into my angry ones, and I inhaled deeply to keep calm.    

"It's because of you. It's because you are there in the academy. I could see you, and I could talk to you. Though I've never approached you nicely, I am greatly happy that I got your attention, you talk to me, you look my way, and I know you think of me. And I feel okay, deeply, despite all the shits I feel, because of your presence. And I'm going to lose you, too? That's not fair. It's not. Never will. You are a selfish monster if you will just give up without even trying all the best ways there is to live. I looked up to you all my life, Olivia Jillian Hunters. I know you can do better than giving up like a damn coward. I know it." I lost it. I just can't hold it anymore.    

She didn't say a thing, and I slowly nodded my head and smiled.    

"I'm so sorry, Sydney. I… I didn't know. But… I… I don't think we can make it. I just want to spend my remaining time with you, every second of it. I want to do all the things I want… we want… together. Please?" She replied, and I saw how hopeful she looked at me.    

I closed my eyes to think, and the thought of her gone from me sooner is such an awful thing to think about. I just can't…    

"We can still do something about it. Come with me. Or if you don't want to, then I'll do it myself. Just stay here, okay? Don't leave. I'll be back soon." I asserted and let go of her hands, and I turned my back on her to leave the room.    

You will live. You don't have my permission to leave me alone just like that. And you are not my boss to tell me what I can't do.    

"Sydney!"    

I heard her call out to me, but I didn't stop nor look back at her.    

I know what I'm doing.